Posted by
Malchickiwick on Tuesday, February 13, 2007 8:05:02 PM
JJ comes in, pulls open the fridge, chugs from a half-gallon jug of watery orange drink.
The kitchen is dim. Angled rays of sunlight slip through nearly-shut blinds, creating a pattern of bars over the room. JJ gulps down orange drink, pants, gulps again.
His shock of messy hair is limp. His elbows and knees carry grassy-muddy smears. And his skin itches. Across the faux-hardwood kitchen floor lie the crumbly clods of dirt JJ just tracked in with his soccer cleats.
JJ is eleven. He breathes through his nose as he takes one last swig of thin orange drink.
JJ sets the plastic jug on the marble countertop, beside the steel sink with its built-in garbage chopper. He uses the corner of his red T-shirt to wipe his mouth. Then JJ circumnavigates the countertop island in the middle of the room, his cleats clicking like cat claws on the floor as he walks.
He stops outside the folded-open door to the long kitchen cabinet and surveys the well-stocked shelves, up and down. The house is too quiet, so JJ hums softly. A jingle for soda pop. After a while JJ uses a foot to scoot a stool out from underneath the marble countertop and he clambers up, standing tippy-toe in his cleats atop the stool, reaching to grab something from the top shelf, whistling.
Suddenly, as JJ stretches the stool shakes and tips onto two legs, threatening to skid away on the smooth floor. Gently, on the toes of his cleats, JJ steadies himself against the second-highest shelf and pushes the stool back to rest on all four legs.
He climbs down holding onto a tin of Planters deluxe mixed nuts and scoots the stool back out of the way with a foot. Popping off the plastic lid, he fishes three cashews from the tin, and flips the nuts into his mouth. Chewing, he notices the sheet of yellow paper on the marble counter beside the little black-and-white TV.
JJ takes the paper between his hands, leaning his forearms on the marble edge of the counter, and holds it within one of the strips of angled sunlight so he can see what is written on the yellow paper in blue-ink letters. As he reads, JJ knocks the tin with his elbow and scatters deluxe mixed nuts all over the floor.
The house is silent again. Upstairs, JJ’s father Jeremy lies blue and unbreathing, in the stone-and-tile tub in the master bath.
“If only I had applied myself more. If only I got a classical education. If only I had learned Latin and Greek. If only I took my baseball more seriously,” JJ reads. “Don’t think I’m a coward or a chicken. Don’t think I wimped out. As a matter of fact, it’s the bravest thing I’m ever going to do. The only thing left for me to do that has any bravery in it at all. The last best thing. If only I had the chance to fight a war. I love you. Do not go upstairs.”
The yellow paper slips from JJ’s fingers, back to the marble countertop. He raises himself up and utters a soft whimper. Then he stands blinking against a bar of sunlight that is wrapped across his face.
JJ goes out, chopping cashews and filberts and brazils all over the faux-hardwood floor with his soccer cleats. JJ is named for his dad: Jeremy Junior.